I have a confession to make: My name is Larry and I once suffered from a serious case of Leadership Style Envy.

LSE isn’t pretty, and I can remember precisely where I was sitting when I knew that my condition needed immediate attention.

During my college years, when I was preparing for ministry, I attended Willow Creek Community Church.

One night Bill Hybels laid out his vision for the church. I sat helplessly in the balcony as Hybels pressed every button on my internal dashboard. My drive for the church was reborn. Truth be told, I entered that room tired and jaded from years of theology course work.

I left the building renewed in my enthusiasm for serving the church. But I also found myself thinking about how Hybels had cast the vision with so much power and energy. Try as I might, I couldn’t picture myself standing where he’d stood, connecting like he had connected, the vision pouring out and hanging in the air so real you could almost touch it.

I found myself thinking: “Why can’t I lead like that? What’s wrong with me?” God used Hybels to plant seeds of hope in me, while darker motives planted seeds of jealousy.

Fast-forward the tape about seven years. I’d graduated and was leaving a job in children’s mental health to become a children’s pastor. Part of what attracted me to join the staff of my church was the chance to work with a friend of mine.

Derek Sanford is an amazing visionary leader. Parachute Derek into any crowd on the planet and within 10 minutes Derek will organize the mob, motivate them with a dream, and launch them to take the world for God. When I came on staff, I watched his style and his success and began comparing myself to him.

Derek was every inch the classic, Hybels-esque leader I wished I could be. Yet I was―well, the truth was I didn’t know what type of leader I was. Being a children’s pastor required a different range of leadership skills than I’d used as a children’s mental health case manager. That much was clear.

But if I wasn’t a visionary leader, then what was I?

I was leading―and I’ll bet you are, too.

People were following me―and they’re following you, too.

But I wasn’t Bill Hybels or Derek Sanford―and maybe you aren’t, either.

I should have focused on discovering my style, and my leadership voice. Instead, I wasted time wishing I could be a vision-casting visionary leader like Derek. I settled for jealousy and leadership-envy instead of growing into who God was calling me to be.

And perhaps that’s where you find yourself, too. Maybe you’re also a charter member of the Grand Order of Leadership Style Envy. If so, welcome. You’re not alone.

Most of the leadership books out there are all about teaching people to be visionary leaders. And there’s a part of our roles as children’s ministry leaders that calls for us to communicate vision for our ministries. But that doesn’t mean we’re all wired as visionary leaders.

This book is for every person called to children’s ministry who is looking to find his or her own leadership voice. You might discover you’re a visionary who can lead like a Craig Jutila, a Sue Miller, or a Jim Wideman. But then again, you might not.

The point is that you’ll discover your leadership style by the end of this book. And you’ll know how to leverage your style in your church context to accomplish God’s will in your children’s ministry.

The process starts with a self-test that will help you figure out how God has wired you. Then we’ll dig into principles that will help you grow as an individual leader and help make your ministry team interdependent. This works whether you’re in a church of 70 or 7,000.

As you learn about the leadership styles of the people on your children’s ministry team, you’ll understand how your styles complement each other, and how you can protect each other’s weaknesses.

Once you’ve discovered your natural style, you’ll learn how to broaden your leadership voice by learning skills from other styles. I’m still not a natural visionary leader, and there’s little chance I’ll ever become Bill Hybels.

Yet, I’ve learned how to do visionary stuff while still being true to—and benefiting from—my natural style of leadership. Instead of trying to be something I’m not, I’m able to work from the strengths God has given me.

I’m convinced of this truth: After you’ve discovered your natural leadership style and you’re content with how God wired you, you’re free to take on parts of other leadership styles and make them your own.

In his book Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman makes the argument that a person can grow in any leadership skill if he or she is willing to attack the problem with unwavering discipline. It’s hard work to grow as a leader, and it’s nearly impossible to do if you’re carrying the personal baggage of jealousy and covetousness.

So that’s my leadership confession: I once suffered from Leadership Style Envy. What’s your confession? Are you unsure of who you are as a leader? Do you wonder if you’re a leader at all? Are you wondering whether God chose the right person when he placed you in children’s ministry leadership?

Perhaps you know who you are. You just can’t figure out why the other people on your team are incapable of thinking like you do. Perhaps your team is filled with such diverse people that you aren’t sure you’ll ever all come together to get the job done. You privately wonder why God threw you into this impossible, interpersonal jumble.

My prayer is that by the time you are finished using this book—taking the test, working through the results, asking your team to do the same—you’ll be confident in God’s wisdom in placing you right where you are.

That’s the heart of this story. You are a leader. God has intentionally placed you at your church, in your team, and with your kids. God’s plans are true, wise, and at times, infuriating from our perspective.

Use this book as a map and a guide for your life journey of understanding why you are here for “such a time as this.”